photo provided by Joyce Tracy

A Mother's Tribute

"I going to pretend for a moment that Terry was not my son but only a person I knew or a friend:

He would go out of his way to help a person in need. It didn't even have to be a person he knew well. He'd give his last dollar even if he needed it more, and as the saying goes the "shirt off his back." He would repair a friends car or mow a widow or single mother's lawn, or help in any other way around the house - not for pay or favors, but from the kindness of his heart.

True, he was a very private person, did not advertise his personal business and not very personal with anyone. He did not talk about friends behind their backs. He was not a person who talked a great deal, but rather was quiet and soft spoken. He was a hard worker and was thought of well by his co-workers and employers. He was a good father that loved his sons and scheduled his life around them to the point of putting his social life on hold. He never dated, went out or did anything without his son Alex, who lived with him with the exception of a short period."

I have often thought of what I would do under the same circumstance. To relate an incident that tells the true character of Terry: Janet and Terry were never married but had two sons, Derek and Alex. After Alex was born Janet began going out with other guys. Terry and Janet stopped living together as live-ins but Janet continued living at the same house. She later had twin sons by another man. Terry continued to care for her needs and gave her a place to live. She came back to Terry's house from the hospital after the birth of the twins.

When she left the family, the twins included, Terry continued to try to keep all four boys together. But a single parent has to work and he could not work and babysit so he did the best thing he could do at the time. (I was living out of state at the time and was not aware of the circumstances). All four boys lived temporary in a home for children for a few months. Janet placed the twins up for adoption, and Derek went to live with the Lays. Alex went back to Terry because he was unhappy anywhere else.

After a short time Terry went to the Lays to get Derek back but they would not give him up. They told him that they had money and would fight him in court. Terry did not have the money. Terry tried to get him again and went to an attorney in 1998 but the attorney would not take the case with no money. When Derek was too much of a handful, and they could no longer control him, the Lay's did not want him anymore.

The Lay's tried to turn Derek against Terry all those years by telling him that if his father loved him and cared for him he would come to see him. Terry did try, in fact, and was constantly calling only to be told that Derek was busy. He tried many times to see him but was rarely allowed and then only for about an hour. He was never allowed to leave the yard with his son. The Lay's said it made Derek too upset to have his dad visit.

What Derek really wanted was to live with his dad. They told him his dad had nothing and they could give him everything, but because he was bad he would have to go back to live with his father. Derek expressed to me and his father also that he was so happy to be back home. Alex was also happy to have Derek home and was never jealous of him as some would have you to believe. Alex and Derek bonded instantly. Alex had been calling Derek on occasion for the past 3 years but Derek never once returned the calls, for whatever reason, but seemed happy that Alex had called.

I lived with Terry and Alex for one full year, and to my knowledge Terry never spanked Alex one time during this period. I never heard him yell at Alex - he would raise his voice on occasion, yes, but not unduly loud. For punishment he took the Playstation away or TV or videos or video games, for a day or so, less than a week at the most. A couple of Terry's friends told me that he was not a hard disciplinarian, not nearly as hard as they were. Derek told Terry that he had not watched TV, video games, or videos for over a year because that was his punishment for being bad. He had to stay alone for days, or closed in his room for days as discipline.

Sorry this is so long but I wanted to give you a good picture of the kind of person Terry was.

Joyce Tracy

Bob's Note:
I'd like to personally thank Joyce for her contribution of this glimpse into the life of Terry King. Many of us have been guilty of pointing the finger, saying "how could you" to the memory of this man. We must always remember, Terry King is a victim of this terrible tragedy.

Was Terry the "perfect parent"? Probably not. I've never met that elusive person, and I don't think I will, until after I leave this world and move on to the next. Terry King did what he felt was the best, and I find no fault with him for that.